Cat Forms Goal to Nap on Every Book in House

timgunnMichigan housecat, Tim Gunn, has declared his goal to sleep on every single book in his suburban home.

“It’s hardly the Library of Congress, but it will do,” said the two-year-old Siamese mix.

The cat enjoys sleeping on different types of books because he has a unique experience with each one. “Yesterday, I slept on a leather-bound copy of The Three Musketeers, and oh my Simba, it was heavenly. It smelled like an English lord’s library, and I dreamt of swordfights, castles full of secrets, and ladies in silk dresses. That’s the kind of book I prefer on a weekend when I’m feeling a little extravagant.”

Tim does not require that all of his books be leather-bound or even hardcover. “On Tuesday, I napped on a secondhand copy of The World According to Garp, and it was surprisingly enjoyable. It was the stuff of lazy afternoons with mugs of cocoa and the humans walking quietly around the house in fuzzy socks as snow falls outside.”

To date, his favorite book to slumber upon is in The Collected Poems of John Keats (“It’s like falling into a world where everything is intricate perfection”) and his least favorite is Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (“No kitten should sleep on Frankenstein before his first birthday. It left me traumatized with a fear of both scientists and stitches.”).

The cat does not want to neglect a single book in his literary nap-a-thon. “I will dream of enchantments and magical creatures while slumbering on Harry Potter; I will dance through many a neighborhood ball while resting on Jane Austen; and feast upon green eggs and ham while dozing on Dr. Seuss.”

And when his goal is complete, will he pack up and move to the Library of Congress? “Why not?” Tim said. “I hear they could use a cat like me.”