When Columbo’s dog-sitter got home from a routine shopping trip at Target, she thought her house had been robbed. A sofa was flipped over, and a large puddle in the hallways indicated that one or both dogs had an accident. In the next ten minutes, she checked locks on all windows or doors and opened all closets to search for intruders before concluding that no burglary had taken place.
One Hour Earlier:
Columbo, the one-year-old Saint Bernard, was convinced he was the canine Chuck Norris and his big break in “the biz” was just around the corner.
“I was telling Lilley,” he said, referring to the dog at whose home he was staying at, “a dog just can’t wait for the right opportunity. He has to make his opportunity. Which is why I thought of a YouTube channel.”
Lille y knew exactly where to find a videocamera in the home, so as soon as her owner went to the store, they set up the camera and began filming.
“Our story was to be told in several installments. It’s about a dog –that would be me– with superpowers. He’s just an ordinary dog, you see, until the makes the discovery that humans hide all the foods that would allow dogs to access their superpowers. You know, the chocolate, the grapes, the onions, the stuff they claim is ‘poisonous,’ so we won’t become more powerful than them.”
When asked if his story was inspired by the Garden of Eden, he denied any connection, claiming he was inspired by age-old dog mythology.
The two dogs were taping their most action-packed scene –where Super Columbo realizes he has powers and zooms around the house– when they heard the sound of the car in the driveway, just as the sofa tipped over after Columbo enthusiastically launched off the sofa back.
“It wasn’t supposed to end like this. We were supposed to wrap up filming and clean up any messes that had been created on the set.”
When video camera was confiscated and the house put back in order, the dogs were put in the backyard, each of them insisting the other was guilty of creating the puddle in the hallway.
“I am not sorry we had big dreams and began filming. I suppose it was a poor choice to do so in someone else’s home, without written consent. In retrospect, I should have convinced my owners’ children to film and direct the film instead.”
*Sadly based off of true events.